i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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