I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
