youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
