and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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