She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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