So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
