Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
