She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
