Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
