Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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