she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
