What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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