garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize