I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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