She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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