I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
