I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
