I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
