The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize