May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
