Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
