I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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