I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize