hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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