soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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