youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
