My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
