He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
