I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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