Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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