Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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