question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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