Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
