she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
