i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
