im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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