Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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