Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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