so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
