But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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