Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
