oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
