I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
