Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
