I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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