I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
as a side note pls kill me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
