What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
