when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
