Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he thought i was a dude.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
