he shaved USA in his pubs
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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