i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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