I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
