Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
