so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
