Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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