exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
