Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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