were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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