btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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