Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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