i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How naked do you want me to be?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
